I Don't Think the Heavy Stuff is Going to Come Down for Quite Awhile

This last week was great as always. Tuesday I woke up to an early call from my local surfer friends. Apparently, the waves were going off and it was time to get up. I had only been in the water once since I took out my stitches so I was psyched. After a cup of coffee and the short few minute drive to Joaquina (one of the best surf spots in all of Brazil if not all of Latin America), I arrived at the beach to pure delight. I only surf Joaquina every so often because it has a pretty heavy local vibe (this is a direct correlation to how good it is - the locals cherish the spot and surely want to keep it to themselves). I really couldn't believe my eyes. It was nothing but barrels and barrels. I had never seen it like that, and it was then that I first realized why everyone raves about the break. We had an incredible session for almost three hours until the south wind came to blow it out. The highlight of the session was a local guy who was born with one leg significantly shorter than the other. As far as I could tell, it doesn't seem to phase him. He was a little outside (local knowledge never hurts!), caught a great wave, and got barrelled all the way down the line as the whole lineup looked on and cheered like crazy. Everyone was so pumped up, and he was smiling like a little kid when the ride ended. I love seeing stuff like that, and I felt privileged to be a witness to it. It was a day that I won't soon forget....

As for the rest of the week, it was fairly normal....well, sort of. Friday we had heard that there was a big party going on at El Divino Club, which is huge club at near Jurerê Internacional that only has a party every few months or so (although that will change because Pacha just bought the property and is coming to Floripa!). I had only been there once and the party was inside. When we arrived, this particular party was outside. They have sort of concert type property located adjacent to the indoor club. This would have been all and good, but it was raining....a lot. We arrived around midnight and it was pretty empty. I wasn't sure if it was because of the rain or just because of the party (I hadn't heard a lot of talk about the party so I was skeptical whether or not it was going to be good). Lucky for us, we had VIP tickets and that whole area was covered. My friend (who just arrived here from Texas two weeks ago) asked me if I thought the party was going to get better. I told him that Brazilians always tend to make it a good party one way or another. Slowly but surely, people starting showing up and things really got cranking. By 3AM, the place was going nuts. I didn't really have any idea why everyone was going crazy until my friend filled me in. Armin Van Buuren was playing onstage, and he is considered one of the top DJ's in whole world (if not THE top DJ). I don't really follow any of that stuff closely, but it didn't take an expert to see what was happening. Watching thousands of people dancing to techno in the rain with all the crazy lights was definitely a spectacle. For this type of music, it was like watching the Rolling Stones live at their peak. It was seriously incredible. We finally made it home around 7AM. Once again, we considered going straight out for a surf. Lucky, cooler heads prevailed and we decided to get some sleep. One of my friends always says that something always crazy happens in Floripa and once again, he was right....

As always, here are some pics from the week.

Brazilian Tourette's Syndrome

"Feia (Ugly)!!!! Feia!!!! Bonita (Beautiful)!!!! Feia!!!!" These are the words I hear being spoken by Alessandra at an abnormally high tone as I am trying to casually watch TV. It cracks me up every time. It seems that whenever a new woman appears onscreen Alessandra apparently finds it normal to throw out a quick judgement based on the physical appearance of that woman. I love it. It kills me. Mostly, it makes me realize how much beauty is valued in Brazil. Rio de Janeiro has the highest number of plastic surgeons per capita than any other city in the world. Silicone is all around, girls wear contact lenses to change the color of their eyes, and girls do not go anywhere without dressing to the nines. And if you ever want to approach a group of girls all you need to do is to ask to take their picture. Brazilian girls LOVE to have their picture taken. The guys who are hired by the clubs to take pictures of the nightlife are easily the most popular guys around.

Of course, I am in no way saying that Brazilians are shallow because they only judge people on looks. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Brazilians place a tremendous amount of value on such important characteristics as being friendly, caring, helpful, sympathetic, respectful, etc. With that being said, beauty if definitely a prized trait here and, quite frankly, I can't explain how much I appreciate that. The girls spend a LOT of time getting ready, and they seem happy by the time it's all said and done. All of the girls are running around looking fantastic, which, in turn, makes the guys happy. Really, we're all winners here.

Consequently, it should come as no surprise to learn that mirrors are a Brazilian girl's best friend. In fact, there is one night club in particular that has huge mirrors that span the floor to the ceiling all throughout. One of the funniest things that I have seen here (and I witness this regularly) is girls dancing by themselves facing the mirror from three feet away with not a care in the world. And these girls are not messing around. These girls are feeling the vibe......of themselves. Now, I can see a teenage girl doing this at home in the confines of her own room while listening to Britney Spears' hot new single. However, this occurs in the middle of the club, and these girls are not teenagers (don't quote me on that!). You would have to see it to believe it. I know a few of my friends have seen it and they enjoyed it as much as I do. So, when I'm sitting at home and I'm hearing these snap judgements fly out of Alessandra's mouth like a person with Tourette's, I can only nod my head in agreement. At least she's not dancing by herself in front of the mirror.....

Ir à Falência

In my process of learning Portuguese, I am constantly finding new words and phrases every day. Typically, I find these through watching TV, conversations with others (I usually try to stop them to ask what they just said), and reading magazines or online news sites. The process never really stops. And just when you think you know every word and every phrase, something new will inevitably come along. At that point, I break out my English/Portuguese dictionary, make a note in my spreadsheet (those of you who know me know how much I love a spreadsheet!), and do my best to add that to my repertoire. At roughly 2:30AM last night I learned a new phrase: ir à falência. - to go bankrupt. Like I said, just when you think you know it all, you will come across a new situation and realize that there will always be more to learn.

After reading the financial news last night before going to bed, I was having a hard time sleeping. I was thinking about what I would have been doing right now if I was still working at Merrill Lynch (which, as of this moment, is sadly Bank of America). I knew one thing for sure. I would not have been sleeping. I probably would have been up all night thinking about the difficulties of the day ahead. Right on cue, the phone rang (it was like I had been transported back to my old life!). One of my friends had "gambled" and bought a sizeable position in Lehman Brothers on Friday. He was predicting a weekend bailout by a suitor over the weekend and upon hearing that those talks had halted late Sunday night, he was devastated. The stock would bound to open up well below Friday's closing price (possible at pennies). I tried my best to comfort him, and I reached back into the vault to attempt to give him the best advice I could. Unfortunately, there wasn't a whole lot to do. As much as Wall Street has changed to provide more access to the average investor, there is no other place that can make a person feel so helpless and alone. This was one of those times. My only advice was to take the loss, understand that it could have been far worse, and try to have an extremely short memory.

I am feeling for those friends back home entrenched in this mess. This is a legitimate crisis that will effect the financial world for a long, long time. In my far removed opinion, even after the Bear Stearns debacle, I don't think believed that another bank, especially one of Lehman Brothers' caliber, would fall. I was reading a news story last night about a reporter who was standing outside the Lehman Brothers office in Manhattan and watching people funnel in and out with boxes to gather their personal stuff. Some of these people had yelled at the reporter because they didn't find it to be in good taste to be broadcasting what I'm sure these employees felt like was a very personal and difficult situation. I have several good friends working at the firm, and my heart goes out to them today. They are all very smart people so I have no doubt that they will land on their feet. But these are tough times and nobody wants to see someone lose a job.

It is going to be interesting to see what happens from here. Without a doubt, nobody knows for sure. I am certainly in no position to predict what that could be. All I can do is be thankful that I'm somewhat removed from the craziness. I had another friend tell me last night that life is full of smart and lucky choices. He told me that he had made a lucky one (he passed up a prestigious job at Lehman Brothers), and he told me that I made a smart one. I wouldn't go so far as to give myself that much credit but whatever the case may be, I'll take it. Instead of going to the office today to research what bank may be the next to fall, I'll be out researching which beach will have the best waves and the best eye candy. I could not be more grateful. Thank you, thank you, thank you...

The Ups and Downs of My Life in Brazil

My return to Floripa has been auspicious at best. Upon my arrival on Wednesday, the sun was shining brightly and I found myself hardly missing the beautiful summer in the U.S. I pondered the idea that the winter may have passed, and I was welcoming an early summer with open arms. Of course, I couldn't have been more wrong. I woke up to pouring rain on Thursday. Unfortunately, that was the least of my problems. My car stalled roughly six times including three times on the main highway. Needless to say, that was not fun. The definition of uncomfortable should include sitting in a stalled car in the fast lane on a highway in Brazil without having any idea of what to do (does AAA exist here? - I have no idea). Normally, I would have just laughed it off as just another part of living in Brazil. Unfortunately, I had just returned from the incredible functionality of the U.S. and, therefore, I was pretty bummed out. I contemplated taking the car to the mechanic ASAP but it was getting late. I was able to restart my car after about 10 minutes each time, and luckily I made it back home although I felt about as safe as Rodney King at an LAPD convention. On top of that, while I was away, I received several speeding tickets in the mail. I was certainly expecting some of them. The problem was that these tickets were for March and I didn't buy my car until May. Now I need to go down to the DMV and fight the ticktes. It was basically the total opposite of the feeling when you move into a new apartment and you're suddenly receiving the old tenant's Playboy subscription.

Even though I was pretty bummed about the car debacle, we decided to go out. This turned my fortunes around immediately. Once I arrived at El Divino, I realized why I liked Brazil so much. Sometimes when I get down I just need a kick in the ass to make me understand how lucky I am to live here. This was exactly what I needed. To make a long story short, we had a total blast, and I couldn't have been any happier. The drive home, however, was not nearly as much fun. Although my car had no problems on the way there, it finally kicked the bucket just a few minutes from my house. This time, though, it wouldn't restart and I had to walk the rest of the way home. It was an incredible night with a not so great ending.

On Friday the swell that we had all been waiting for finally arrived. My friends had scoped the island and told me where we would score the best waves. I ran to my car because I was excited to meet them (they were already at the beach where they wanted to surf), but unfortunately my car wouldn't start. I gave up at this point and called a tow truck. After a lengthy wait time, I found out that fixing my car would cost about 1,000 reais and I wouldn't get it back until Monday. I missed one of the best surf days of the year, I was out 1,000 reais, and I was going to have a car for my first weekend back home. What a bummer.

I woke up Saturday with high hopes. Everyone has car problems (or at least I keep telling myself that). This was just part of the deal. Luckily, the swell was still cranking and we decided to wait until the afternoon. And by "we" I mean my friends. The have been living on the island their whole lives and they predict the swell, the wind, and all other atmospheric conditions like God's personal weatherman. The crazy thing is that they are almost always right. We hit the afternoon session, and everyone was super stoked. The conditions were great, and everyone was having a blast. As a big set wave came in, I found myself a little inside. I paddled hard but knew I was going to get buried. I tried my hardest to for a deep duck dive but had no luck. The wave was just too powerful. The force of the wave flung the board down my body, and I felt something hit my foot pretty hard. At first, it didn't seem like much (isn't that always the case?) but after looking down, I knew it wasn't good. I had just gashed my foot pretty deeply. I stayed out for a little while longer because I didn't want to ruin everyone else's session, but finally I had to paddle in. It was only worse when I got arrive onshore. The stream of blood was not a pretty sight. My friends convinced me that I should go to the clinic to get stitches, and that's exactly what I did. The ocean is off limits for one week as is running, working out, etc. Killer news.

As I was laying on the couch nursing my wound following a pain killer and my dinner special (frozen lasagna), I received a call. The call went something like this:

Friend: "How quickly get can you get to this house."
Me: "Why?"
Friend: "Ummmm, I'm pretty sure you would like it here." (This is man code for "there are a LOT of girls here")
Me: "About 10 seconds."

And I was off. I arrived at the house party which was a 22nd birthday celebration for Brazilian twin girls. There were about 15 girls and 4 guys. Suddenly, all of my problems were gone, and Brazil was once again the greatest place on earth....

The Escape from Immigration

Well, despite my investor visa not being processed while in the U.S., I took a gamble and decided to return to Brazil anyway. Although my tourist visa was stamped with an expiration date of August 25th, it technically had seven days left on it since I left the country on August 18th. This was a 50/50 shot, but I knew I couldn't stay in the U.S. with an undetermined return date. And knowing how Brazil works, undetermined wouldn't even be the right description. It would be more like, "Who in the hell knows?" Therefore, I took the gamble, hopped on the 14 hour flight, put on a big smile and a dumb look, and crossed my fingers. The immigration officer took a look at my visa, glanced at me like I was a teenager trying to buy a six-pack of Bud Light, and asked me if I knew that I only had seven days left in the country. Mostly, she was curious because I had just spent five and a half months straight in the country, left for two weeks, and then wanted to come back for only one week. Was I really going to leave after seven days? I was prepared for this exact question and I stone faced her like I was sitting at the final table of the World Series of Poker. My insurance plan was a doctored Delta itinerary with a return date of September 10th, which, I have to admit, I was very proud of (apparently, I was not thinking about what Brazilian prison must be like). I came back strong with the simple answer that I was only coming back for a quick surf trip with my friends. She bought it and so here I am back in the wonderful world of Floripa. Don't ever underestimate the power of persuasion!

Overall, I would have to say that my trip to the U.S. was everything I wanted it to be. My biggest goal, as I wrote earlier, was to spend as much time with family and friends as possible, and I think, with just a few exceptions (Pat - I miss you brother!), I accomplished that. It was extremely, extremely fun to see everyone again. Without a doubt, that is what I miss most. I didn't have a single second of downtime while I was there, but I wouldn't have changed that for the world. Being able to always have friends and family around to do whatever is something that I don't take for granted. It's impossible to replace that no matter where you live. Your best friends will always be just that - the best. You know who your best friends are because they are the people you see after six months and you feel like you never missed a single beat. As for my family, what can I say? Everyone is happy and healthy. I couldn't really ask for more. The real treat was spending a lot of time with my niece. She is almost two years old now and an absolute character. She has more energy than Flavor Flav on crack, which, I suppose, provided some decent incentive for me to use birth control. God bless my sis and Scott for having the energy to raise her. Seriously, they deserve some sort of award or something. I was exhausted after about 10 minutes of hanging with her.

A lot of people have asked me what my impressions were after coming back. I would say that they were mixed. I immediately missed the simplicity and mellow vibe of Floripa. The intensity of the U.S. was glowingly obvious in about the first five seconds. With that being said, I definitely felt at ease in San Francisco. I spent eight years there so I guess this would be no surprise (not to mention that my friends were especially accommodating - thanks for the pad TK!). I think being back in a place that functions incredibly, incredibly well made me comfortable. Also, it is still, and always will be, a beautiful city. However, although this may shock some of you, it continues to be 50 degrees and foggy in San Francisco. People always say that the easiest job in the world is to be a weatherman in San Francisco. "Today, folks, it's 50 degrees and foggy. Back to you Pam." I am no longer acclimated to the fog and cold, and my standard SF North Face collection was packed into storage. Don't let that sun fool you. You step into that shade for longer than 10 seconds, and you'll be stiffer than the Statue of Liberty.

San Diego provided me with exactly what I wanted: sun and surf. I really, really enjoyed my days there. I have heard more than a few times that Floripa reminds people of San Diego 30 years ago, and now I see why. The vibe there was great (except for the 50-year old woman surf Nazi at Swamis but that's a whole other story). We surfed every day and spent lots of time at the beach. Certainly, I could do without the traffic but as I've always said, no place is perfect and you have to take the good with the bad. It was great to spend time with friends there as well. Two dollar Tuesday's at En Fuego was excellent as always! It's amazing how much Facebook can keep you in touch with everyone. You really can't put a prize on that. Obviously, Mark Zuckerberg is trying to prove that to everyone by turning down literally billions of dollars.

As for my last stop, I don't think I've ever been to Scottsdale and not had a blast. Growing up there, things were pretty normal. These days, things have changed. Scottsdale is one giant scene, and it definitely makes me laugh every time. I don't like a lot of the things that have somehow found there way there (lose the bandanas and "sleeves" people!), but overall it is an amazing place. We had some epic nights (with one in particular that is not appropriate for the internet, let alone this blog), and some great days by the pool. It's still hot as balls there (we literally had to quit golf on Friday after 10 holes because we were dying), but hot means bikinis, and I LOVE bikinis!

As I journeyed down the coast, I made a few notes along the way about the things that I noticed and I wanted to share them with you.

The very first thing that I noticed was that the U.S., especially San Francisco, is a LOT more diverse than Brazil. Certainly, it is one of the things that makes the U.S. so special. I was so amazed during my first day there. I literally couldn't believe it. Somehow, I had forgotten what it was like. In Brazil, everyone pretty much looks the same. In the U.S., it looks like a giant Jackson Pollock painting. It probably didn't help that my first two modes of transportation in SF were BART and Muni (pretty much the epicenter of diversity). I heard four languages on my short ride: English, Chinese, Spanish, and jive.

Logging on to my computer for the first time was like going to the future for me. I didn't realize how slow my internet is here until I got a little taste of what it is like back in the U.S. I was downloading songs in about 10 seconds, which takes me about five minutes here. I once had a friend tell me that he liked the internet that way it used to be because he liked the anticipation of watching the page slowly load because it felt like the girl was stripping for him. The genius of that comment was not lost on me. However, I was just in that guy's wedding so it appears that he has moved on and embraced the new internet. I'll be waiting anxiously for it to arrive here...

Laughter. God I miss laughter. I LOVE to laugh. Unfortunately, one of the most difficult things to grasp when you are learning a new language is humor. It's hard enough trying to understand the language, the gestures, the accents, the slang, and everything else. Trying to find humor is almost impossible. Honestly, my friends probably felt like Eddie Murphy when I was around. I was dishing out laughs non-stop. Man, I miss that.

People in the U.S., present company absolutely not excluded, utilize their horns as much as they utilize their brakes. You very rarely hear people use their horns in Brazil. If you drive like a maniac, it's just expected. There is no reason to obnoxiously honk your horn in order to let someone know he is driving out of control. You already know it and he already knows it. I think in the U.S. people expect other cars to part like the Red Sea and make way for them like they're driving the red carpet or something. I never thought this before but if everyone just has a little common courtesy and accepts the fact that nobody drives perfectly, you would be amazed at how much this will result in a better driving experience. BTW, for those of you counting at home, I managed to get Mom and myself from Del Mar to Scottsdale in 5 hours and 15 minutes with two legitimate stops (one included a full sit down Wendy's stop). That record might last as long as DiMaggio's 57-game hitting streak.

The salespeople in the U.S. need a lengthy class in manners. Honestly, at times, I felt more like a Dad pestering his teenage son in the middle of a video game rather than someone trying to patronize the store. In Brazil, people are so happy to have jobs that they'll pretty much do anything for you. I think that in the U.S. there are so many jobs and opportunities that employees completely take if for granted. I felt like I was asking someone to come mow my lawn when all I really wanted to know was if the iTrip would work in Brazil. Totally unreal, and this happened at almost every place I went (one notable exclusion was the Apple Store where I think the salesgirl wanted to come back to Brazil with me).

Everyone kept telling me that they couldn't wait for college football to start and I kept saying that I wouldn't miss it that much. Basically, I was just trying to fool myself since I won't get hardly any of the games (if any at all). I was at a pool party on Saturday where people kept going inside to catch glimpses of the games. Now, it's no joke. I'm really going to have to step up my activities these upcoming Saturday's. I don't want to be thinking about the Sun Devils vs. Georgia or Pac-10 cheerleaders. I just don't.

Apparently, bars in the U.S. still close at 2AM. I'm just getting warmed up at that point. As I write this, it's 10PM in Brazil and I won't be going out for another two hours. An ex-girlfriend's mother once told her than nothing good happens after 2AM. I couldn't agree less. I'm pretty sure that the best times of my life all happened after 2AM. If only I could remember all those times, I would be able to verify that.

As usual, here are some pics of my trip.