50 Differences Between Floripa and San Francisco

50. We don't hug or shake hands when we meet someone in Floripa. We go straight to the kissing.
49. Champagne is a regular part of the diet in Floripa.
48. Every guy I know here seems to have a magic touch with a soccer ball. It must be in the blood.
47. In Floripa the term "playing through" doesn't mean allowing a group of golfers behind you move ahead. Rather, it means going directly from one night of partying to the next night without sleeping.
46. Often times girls in Floripa won't return your text messages not because they don't want to respond to you but because they don't want to pay the money. Unfortunately, this leaves many a guy wondering if the girl is blowing him off or just short on dough.
45. It costs me R$0.38 every time I send a text message in Floripa. I have had to learn how to actually call and talk to people again just so I don't go broke.
44. I haven't touched a washing machine in 13 months while in Floripa and I couldn't be happier about this development.
43. In San Francisco I can't buy a pair of shoes and get the option to pay for the shoes in 12 monthly installments.
42. I pay R$50 per month to have a bank account in Floripa. If that's not a crime I don't know what is.
41. Driving in San Francisco is not a life threatening experience.
40. If I want to park on the street, I have to pay some random street "bum." If I don't pay him, I might not have windows when I get back.
39. Mexican food is actually good in San Francisco. I'm pretty sure that I had a burrito last week that was covered in pasta sauce.
38. In Floripa carrying around a camera doesn't make you look like a ridiculous tourist. It makes you the most popular person in town.
37. I eat dinner no earlier than 10PM in Floripa. In SF, that's almost last call.
36. I don't need to run a bar tab in Floripa. You receive a card once you enter a club that essentially acts as your tab. It seems annoying at first but it's actually quite effective.
35. Nobody flips anyone off in Floripa. Everyone drives like a maniac and it's just accepted as such and therefore, no one ever gets pissed. It's quite novel actually.
34. Pedestrians have rights in San Francisco.
33. I wouldn't touch McDonald's in San Francisco. In Floripa, the golden arches are just that.....golden.
32. People actual use payphones in Floripa. In SF, payphones are about as extinct as the Model T.
31. The houses on the hills with beautiful views in Floripa aren't Pacific Heights-like mansions, they're favellas.
30. In Floripa keeping it mellow tonight means getting home around 3AM.
29. No means Yes in Floripa. Just kidding!!!!! Sort of.....
28. Tennis is played on clay in Floripa.
27. Tattoos, and there are many of them, are considered beautiful and sexy in Floripa.
26. It's illegal to have the photo radar avoiding reflector on your license plate in San Francisco but in Floripa the DETRANS (DMV) actually makes them for you for $40 reais extra (much to my amusement, I personally experienced this yesterday).
25. In San Francisco I wouldn't go out to a place that was farther than 1o minutes from my condo whereas in Floripa I have no problem driving two hours to go to a club.
24. Cops in Floripa drive with their flashers on at all times. I can't possibly think of something more confusing than this for Americans. Should I pull over? Should I stop? What the hell am I supposed to do?
23. When I pick up a friend at the airport in Floripa and park at the curb to wait for him/her I don't get accosted by 17 cops in 20 seconds.
22. In Floripa I don't need sleep to work. I need sleep to go out.
21. Strangers actually want to help you in Floripa and most of the time they even add a smile.
20. Having a two hour coffee in Floripa isn't such a strange concept.
19. When it rains in Floripa I'm surprisingly excited because that means I might take it easy for once.
18. A crazy night out in San Francisco means hundreds of people getting drunk and going wild. That's a slow Sunday in Floripa.
17. The citizens respect the government in Floripa like San Franciscans respect Republicans.
16. There is no sound of an alarm in Floripa (at least not for me!).
15. People actually train their dogs in San Francisco.
14. When I go the beach in Floripa it's beautiful, warm, and clean.
13. A perfect 10 in San Francisco might qualify as a 7.5 in Floripa.
12. When I go out in San Francisco, there isn't a decent chance that I will see Alessandra Ambrosio or any one of the other Victoria's Secret models.
11. In San Francisco I don't need to wait in line (in person, mind you!) to pay my bills.
10. The average temperature in Floripa ranges about 15 degrees between the summer and winter. I could be on the shaded side of Chestnut Street and walk to the sunny side and experience this same temperature variation.
9. Only in Floripa can you go home with a girl from a club in separate cars, watch this girl cause a drunk driving head-on collision, have several cops show up, watch the girl fumble through her purse looking for an ID only to see her give the cops her Confraria VIP card, and still be home making out with her in less than 45 minutes (obviously, this is a story that deserves its own entry but for the meantime, understand that every bit is true).
8. In Floripa the cops can show up at your party to see if everything is ok and you're having fun.
7. Going out with a group of five guys in Floripa won't get you barred from a club because there are already so many girls there that they essentially need the guys.
6. The crab is actually real in San Francisco.
5. Restaurant waiters acknowledge your presence in San Francisco.
4. Somebody else pumps the gas for me in Floripa.
3. When I surf in Floripa I'm not searching the water for sharks.
2. San Francisco, which is a fairly lax city when it comes to enforcing the law, looks like Singapore compared to Floripa.
1. I see more hot girls having a coffee in the Lagoa than I will see in one year in San Francisco (no offense SF - I still love you!)